Stephen Colbert on possible Russian war crimes: ‘Save time and pull the “possible” out of that sentence’ | TV summary late at night

Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert celebrated Late Show bandleader Jon Batiste Monday night, a day after Batiste won five Grammys, including this year’s album for We Are. “I’m not at all surprised that Jon won this year’s album,” the host said. “Do you know who was surprised? Jon.”

“You can see he did not expect to go on stage because he wore his most casual rhinestone bishop’s costumes,” Colbert said of Batiste’s glittering outfit, worn for his acceptance of this year’s album for the ceremony finale.

During his speech of thanks, Batiste spoke of her lifelong love of music: “I love music. I’ve been playing since I was a little boy. It’s more than entertainment for me; it’s a spiritual practice.”

“It’s nice,” Colbert said. “I would also like to apologize to Jon for interrupting his spiritual practice for years with jokes about Rudy Giuliani’s soaking wet mess.”

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy also appeared at the Grammy Awards in a pre-recorded speech, urging viewers to support Ukraine. “Fill the silence with your music!” he said. “Fill it today. To tell our story.”

“We add ‘But not you, Kanye, we’re already dealing with enough,'” joked Colbert.

Colbert then checked into the war in Ukraine, where Russia has almost completely withdrawn from the area around Kiev. “It’s good news, but now that they’re pulled out, the world is taking a closer look at the horrific path of destruction the Russians have left behind,” he said.

Colbert would not show any footage as it “is not safe for people”, but Ukrainian officials described the devastation as “genocide” and have launched an investigation into possible Russian war crimes. “I want to save everyone some time and pull the ‘possible’ out of that sentence,” Colbert said. “It simply came to our notice then. Study performed. That’s for sure. ”

“Let’s go on to something less obvious,” he continued, “like finding out if a bear is fucking in the woods, of course, if it’s a Russian bear, they call it a special military stool.”

Seth Meyers

On Late Night, Seth Meyers tore into Mike Pence, who appeared on Fox News Saturday, claiming that “President Biden has done more harm to America than any president in modern history.”

“Wow, how tight is your definition of modern history?” Meyers wondered and exclaimed his Pence impression: “Modern history has been around since The Slap. So from 900 AD to The Slap, it’s the Middle Ages.”

“Seriously, man, what’s your deal?” He continued. “Are you still trying to win Trump’s voters? They stormed the Capitol and they shouted” hang Mike Pence. “It’s you! You’re like a guy who gets a fake number from a woman at a bar and keeps calling it hoping to get a date. ”

“Perhaps Pence thinks Biden is worse than Trump because he slept throughout Trump’s presidency,” he thought, “which is possible given that every meeting he had closed his eyes, as if he was desperately hoping no one would notice him. . “

“These Trump toads are all such obnoxious little worms, but Pence’s faux gravitas make him so much more intolerable,” Meyers added. “The shaking of the head, the solemn tone, the deliberate popular behavior – he looks and moves like a Chuck-E-Cheese robot asking the band to keep it down.”

Jimmy Kimmel

And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel taunted Donald Trump for tearing his own photographer in the White House. While it is customary for modern presidents to allow their photographer to take advantage of their work on post-office anniversary books, Trump aides reportedly asked his White House photographer, Shealah Craighead, for a cut in her book deal.

Trump’s office then asked her to wait to publish her book and published her photos before her for $ 75 a year. pop without photo credit. “Luckily, she has a lot of pictures of the guy who robbed her, and he looks like Donald Trump,” Kimmel said.

“Two least surprising things about this story: the one Trump takes advantage of someone else’s work,” he added. “And secondly, the memoir he published about his time in office is a picture book.”

In other Trump news, former President Sarah Palin backed Congress this weekend. As Trump said in a statement: “Sarah Palin is tough and smart and will never retire.”

“Even for Trump, it’s impressive to fit three lies in an eleven-word sentence,” Kimmel said. “I’m guessing the Masked Singer money has dried up and Sarah is showing up. Trump supporting Sarah Palin is like eating pasta and approving glue-sniffing. That’s ridiculous.”

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